food cravings

Steve is so sweet! Tonight I was craving Ravioli and Smores. He went up to the store and got some Ravioli and the stuff to make Smores. Yum-O! It was goood. I've been trying to stay away from "junk" food. I've mainly been sticking to veggies, fruits, dairy, whole grains, and lean proteins. I've been drinking lots of water. But I wanted Ravioli and Smores sooo bad tonight. I guess it's okay to quench your cravings every once in a while, isn't it? :-)

So excited about seeing jellybean!

I am so excited about seeing our little jellybean tomorrow! I'm really glad that Moma is going with me. I just worry so much. What if something is wrong? I would be devestated. I really need someone there with me. At least Steve will be able to see jellybean on the CD-R. It won't be the same as him being there but it's best that he doesn't take off from work again until December when we have the ultrasound to find out the gender. He has plenty of sick days accumulated (like 6 weeks worth!) but the sick leave policy at his work it pretty strict.

I've been tired a lot here lately. Like really tired. I took a 2 hour nap yesterday and I was ready for bed at 7:00 PM. I've been very distracted too. I just can't concentrate on anything. I wonder how Jade and Max are going to do with a baby in the house. Max is just so hyper. I know he wouldn't intentionally hurt the baby or anything but we are going to have to be careful with him. I think Jade will do well with the baby. I'm worried about her getting jealous though. She has been my baby for 5 years. She really didn't like Max when we first got him, she had been used to getting all the attention and love. She has gotten used to Max now and they get along pretty well.

I don't think I'll be having my HCG levels checked anymore. I know once they get so high that ultrasound is more accurate. I think even if my doctor's office wants to check my HCG levels I'm not going to get the results. There is a bible verse that has really given me some peace and helped me to calm down when I start getting all stressed out and worried.

Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to GOD. And the peace of GOD, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in CHRIST JESUS.

bloodwork, first appointment, and rescheduled ultrasound

My doctor wanted me to come in for a repeat HCG 2 days after I found out I was pregnant. I went in on Wednesday, 9/2. My HCG level came back at 107! It was going up like it should. I came back 2 days later on Friday, 9/4. My HCG level that day was 283. My numbers were looking very good, still rising. I came back on Tuesday 9/8 for more bloodwork. My HCG was 1,089. My levels were still rising and going up like they should. My progesterone results had came back from the day I found out I was pregnant. They were a little low, 9.2. My doctor prescribed me a progesterone medicine and told me that I would need to take that until I was 12 weeks pregnant. Also, I would need to come in every week to have bloodwork and check my progesterone. On Tuesday, 9/8, my progesterone came back at 24! The medicine was working and keeping my progesterone numbers up. I went in agin on Tuesday 9/15 for more bloodwork. My poor little vein is having a rough time. They can only get blood out of my left arm, in one vein. It's okay though. I would gladly go in EVERYDAY for 9 months and have my blood taken if it means my baby would be safe. My progesterone came back as 24 again. The medicine was helping those numbers stay stable. My HCG came back as 5,307. I was a little worried about these numbers as they did not show my levels doubling every 48 hours. The nurse told me that the HCG levels start to rise more slowly and that they can take up to 72-96 hours to rise. That calmed me down a bit.

I went in for my first prenatal appointment on Thursday 9/17. I was also scheduled for my first ultrasound. Steve and I were so excited that we were going to be able to see our little jellybean! That morning, as I was getting dressed, the doctor's office called. Both of the ultrasound technicians were out with the flu, they would have to reschedule my ultrasound. I cried for about twenty minutes straight. I wanted to see my baby. I finally calmed down and realized that I at least still had my first prenatal appointment. Steve and I went to the appointment. They checked my blood pressure and weight. Then Steve and I spoke with the doctor about my pregnancy. The doctor gave us a packet of information and went over it with us. Then I asked questions that I had. I really like my doctor. She is very nice and helpful. She answered all of my questions and even told Steve to not complain when I got up at 3:00 AM to throw up (that had happened the last 2 nights). Then I had my first prenatal bloodwork. It was 5 tubes of blood. They also checked my HCG levels and they were only 6,675. This got me really freaked out. Those numbers were taking longer than 72-96 hours to double. I researched a little online and from what I found the HCG levels can take longer than 96 hours to double, especially after they reach 6,000. I also spoke with some people on message boards and they had HCG levels that didn't double according to the "normal" standards and they had healthy happy pregnancies. I'm trying not to worry about those numbers too much. They did rise and that is what they are suppossed to do. I have my first ultrasound this Tuesday. I'm disappointed that Steve will not be able to go with me and see our little jellybean for the first time. I am happy that Moma will be going with me. Also, I get to bring a CD-R and they will record jellybean so Steve can see him/her. I'm leaving things in GOD's hands. He will take care of me and my baby. He will help my baby grow and be healthy. I'm so excited to see jellybean next Tuesday. They said I would also get to see/hear the heartbeat!

How we found out

It was Friday, cycle day 40. I had not seen hide nor hair of Aunt Flo. I was going to call my doctor's office and ask for a prescription of Provera, used to induce your period. This is what I have done in the past when my period was lasting very long. I decided not to call and wait till Monday, cycle day 43, since I had my yearly appointment that day. The day of my appointment I decided to take a home pregnancy test. There was a very very very faint line. It was so faint that I thought it was in my head. Wishful thinking or something. If you have been trying to conceive you know the feeling of looking at a test, whether it is a home pregnancy test (hpt) or an ovulation test (opk). I would look at my tests, turning them this way and that way in the light. Standing on one foot, holding your nose, and hopping across the bathroom :-) just joking, or am I?! Anyway, I so did not think that this was an actual positive hpt. So I went on to the doctor anticipating that they would prescribe me provera. When I arrived at the doctor's office that day the nurse called me back and started taking all of my vitals and getting information from me. She asked when my last period was. I told her 7/20, I'm on cycle day 43, I'm probably going to need Provera. She suggested that we do a urine pregnancy test there in the office. I was thinking that it was a waste of time but I did it anyway. The urine pregnancy test at the doctor's office also came back negative. When I had my appointment with the doctor she said that she could not determine if I was pregnant or not from my physical exam and she wanted to do a blook pregnancy test (bpt). Again, I was thinking that it was a waste of time. I had my blood drawn and went on my merry way, expecting that I would get the call that would crush my heart and spirit, a negative pregnancy test. I called Steve on my way home and told him that the doctor wanted to do a bpt. I told him "wouldn't that be something?". We agreed that it would be something if I was pregnant, especially this month, the month we "stopped" trying. I told him I would pick up supper on my way home and see him in a little bit. My doctor's office is approximately 1 - 1 1/2 hours away. I was on my way home, about half way home, when my doctor's office called. I braced myself, expecting that horrible horrible news that I just knew I was going to get. The nurse said that my results came back and that it was positive for pregnancy. WHAT! I said "IT IS?!". She said that my results came back with my HCG levels being a 43. She said that we caught my pregnancy very early on and that I would need to come back in for more tests later in the week. I asked the nurse if they could check my progesterone levels also and she said that they could test those levels from the same blood they drew that day. I was so excited, shocked, happy, and thankful. I didn't know what to do. I pulled over on the side of the road and just cried. I cried and cried and cried. I cried tears of joy. I had cried tears of pain, frustration, anger, and sadness for 14 months and now I was finally pregnant! I wanted to call Steve. I knew he was at work but I just couldn't wait. I tried to call him and his phone did not have service. I tried to pull myself together to finish the drive home. I knew it would be better to tell him in person. I called my Mom and asked her to pray for me. I told her that I didn't want to talk about it right now but that GOD knew what it was about. I also called my cousins, Josh and DJ, and asked them the same thing. I know that they all must have thought something terrible was wrong because I called them crying asking them to pray for me. I picked up supper for Steve and I on the way home. When I arrived home Steve was already there. I honked the horn so he would come outside, knowing he would think it was just to help me get the food out of the car. He came out to the car and I asked him for a hug. We were hugging and I whispered in his ear "I'm pregnant". He jumped back and asked "are you serious". I told him that I was and that the doctor had called me on my way home. He got this deer in the headlights look and started stumbling until he finally rested on the hood of my car. I just cried and cried again. Happy tears. We both were so shocked that it happened the month we "stopped" trying.

I am a very impatient person. This is something that I have really been trying to work on. When I want something, I want it NOW. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. There is a time for everything. I also believe that things have to happen in GOD's time, not ours. I'm embarrased to say that I felt as if though I was losing my faith while we were trying to conceive for so long. I was mad, frustrated, and sad. I thought that it wasn't fair that we hadn't had kids yet. It wasn't fair all these people having a dozen babies or people who had babies who didn't even want them or that treated them badly. Why not us? We were good people. We were in a stable loving relationship. Steve has a great job and we were ready for children. Why did GOD not give us what we wanted so badly? I really don't know what the reason was. Maybe to restore my faith in GOD, restore religion in my life. Maybe to bring Steve and I closer together. Maybe to ensure that we would appreciate and be thankful for the gift that GOD was going to give us. Maybe to help me with my patience.

I am so very thankful to GOD everyday that he has blessed us with this child. My GOD is an awesome GOD! He has the master plan, he knows what he is doing. I just cannot express how grateful and thankful I am that God gave Steve and I this blessing, this blessing that is our baby. I already love our baby so much, with all of my heart.

First post

My name is Tisha and my husband is Steve. We have been married for 5 years. We started trying to conceive 14 months ago in June 2008. I immediately knew that we would need some type of help. I went to my OB/GYN and explained my concerns to her. I have very irregular periods. Because of this we did not know when I would ovulate. My doctor ran some tests and the results came back. I had PCOS. My doctor prescribed me a fertility drug, Clomid. From the research I did on the drug everything sounded really promising. We tried 8 cycles of Clomid, with the last 2 cycles including the drug Glucophage. Each cycle my dosage of Clomid increased. I was having some major symptoms from the drug. I would get bad headaches, major hotflashes, I was extremely irritable and moody. Steve was a trooper through all of it. I finally showed ovulation on the last 3 doses of Clomid I took, however, it did not result in what Steve and I had been praying and wishing for, a baby. My doctor referred me on to ART, The Alabama Reproductive Technology department. We scheduled our first appointment with ART for October 24, 2009. We were heartbroken. We had been trying to conceive for over a year. It felt like someone had punched us in the gut. Would we ever have a baby of our own? How much was infertility treatments going to cost? Could we afford it? We decided that all of the stress we had been through during the last 14 months had taken it's toll on both of us. I was beginning my first cycle off of Clomid. We decided to "take a break" from trying to conceive. I had heard for 14 months, "if you'll just stop trying it will happen". I so didn't believe that. How would we have a baby if we stopped trying? It sounded completely ridiculous to me. Well, there has got to be some truth somewhere in that theory because it worked for us!