TTC emotions can be easily misunderstood

It's hard dealing with infertility, especially when no one in your real life understands what you are going through. Some people take the feelings and pain associated with IF and turn it into something ugly and crude. It puts an ugly face on an already difficult situation. I was told recently that I was "jealous, bitter, and full of hate". I am not jealous of pregnant women or people who have children. I am not bitter towards those people. I am not full of hate towards anyone. Those three things do not describe me. If I decide not to go to a baby shower or put myself in a situation where I will be around pregnant women or babies, I do that as kind of a self preservation. Some things bring too many painful feelings and memories to the surface. I don't think I should be blamed or be labeled as bitter and full of hate because i choose to not put myself in those situations. I am none of the things that I was recently called. The only feelings I have when around pregnant women or babies are feelings of failure and sadness. It reminds me of what S and I tried for for so very long. What we had for a brief moment. What we lost. What we may never have again. The "problem" lies with me so I do blame myself. It hurts. It sucks. It is made worse by insensitive people who do not truly understand mine and S's situation and our feelings about all of this. I have a lot more to say about this. This is a very big issue with TTC couples. It adds more pain, hurt, and confusion to an already hard situation that many do not understand.