upcoming baby showers

I know it is only a matter of time before I get that cute little blue or pink invitation in the mail for my cousin's baby shower. I found out a few weeks ago that she is pregnant with #3 and is due in May. Yep, May, my due date month. *sighs* I just can't go. I'll send a gift. Maybe a gift card. I just can't shop for baby stuff and go to a baby shower. I just can't. I can't for my own mental health.

Oh, and if my other cousin does stay with his girlfriend who is pregnant by another guy, I think she is due in September. So there is another baby shower I know will be coming up. Sorry. I just can't go.

And I really don't think I should have to give explanations to people as to why I will not be attending their baby shower, do I?

Sorry cousin but S and I have been TTC for nearly 2 years and we have had a miscarriage that broke our hearts, I just don't feel up to celebrating your pregnancy right now.

OR: sorry cousin, but I won't be able to attend your baby shower, that is my estimated O day and S and I will be BD'ing like crazy little rabbits. Sorry. Oh, and congratulations.

OR: Sorry cousin, but I won't be albe to attend your baby shower, I will be 14DPO that day and am planning on POAS that AM. If I get a BFP I will be so ecstatic that I will literally be shaking all day and I'll be a nervous wreck about having another M/C so I won't be able celebrate with you and if I get a BFN I will either be on the bathroom floor crying for most of the day or curled up in a ball in my bed crying for most of the day. Oh, and congratulations.

OR: sorry cousin, but I can't handle everyone asking when S and I are planning on having a baby. Hello nosy family member, we just BD'd this AM, wanna look in my whoha and see if S's spermies are swimming the right way? Oh yeah, congratulations.

OR: sorry cousin, but I can't handle the "guess your due date" game because you are due in May and if I hear May 5th, my due date, I may just break down and have to be hauled off to the looney bin. Oh, and congratulations.

OR: sorry cousin, but I just can't handle all the weird looks, stares, and glances from nosy family members who are talking about me to other nosy family members. "When do you think she'll ha ve kids?" "Who knows, maybe they don't want them" "Maybe they can't have kids" "Who do you think it is, him or her?" Or worse, all the sympathetic pity looks or the comments "It will happen when it is suppossed to happen" or "Maybe you just aren't suppossed to have kids" or "In God's time" or whatever other comment anyone can come up with that will only make me feel worse. Oh, and a big friggin congratulations to you fertile cousin.

Maybe I should just give a generic excuse for not attending: Sorry Cousin, I have a wicked stomach virus and will be on the toilet all day. I don't want to get everyone sick, especially you and your precious little bundle of joy. Yes, I do have a wicked stomach virus and NO I AM NOT PREGNANT! Oh, and congratulations you fertile myrtle.