It has been a long time since I last posted on this blog. S and I lost the baby. I had a miscarriage. God, it hurts. I went for my first ultrasound on 9/22/10. According to my LMP I should have been 9 weeks 1 day. According to my EDC I should have been 7 weeks 6 days. The ultrasound was showing that I was 6 weeks 1 day. I was so upset and worried. The ultrasound technician said that I may have had my dates off (I knew I didn't because of taking OPK's and timing our BD sessions). I was to come back in a week for a follow-up ultrasound. The u/s tech asked me if I had had any bleeding. I was shocked that she asked me this. If I had had any bleeding wouldn't I have mentioned that? Wouldn't I have called the doctor's office and told them about that? Wouldn't I have rushed to the ER? I told the u/s tech that no I had not had any bleeding or spotting. Was she already giving up on jellybean?
Moma went with me to my first ultrasound but I was really glad that S got to go with me for the next one. I went for the 2nd ultrasound on 9/30/10. That was the longest wait ever. I was so worried, upset, and anxious. Just not knowing what was going on was agonizing. For the 2nd u/s I was measuring 6 weeks 2 days, the baby had grown by 1 day. Something was definitely wrong. When I saw the screen I knew before the u/s tech said anything. It looked the same as the previous week. The u/s tech asked me if I had had any bleeding. I wasn't really shocked that she asked me this time. I knew from the screen that the baby was not growing. I told her no that I had not had any bleeding or spotting at all. S was holding my hand when the u/s tech told me that things were not developing as they should, he squeezed my hand hard. I was pushing back the tears and then, I couldn't hold them back anymore. A flood of tears streamed down my face. The u/s tech gave me tissues and S squeezed my hand even harder and told me that he loved me. I went to the restroom to put my clothes back on and compose myself. I couldn't believe this was happening.....
Moma went with me to my first ultrasound but I was really glad that S got to go with me for the next one. I went for the 2nd ultrasound on 9/30/10. That was the longest wait ever. I was so worried, upset, and anxious. Just not knowing what was going on was agonizing. For the 2nd u/s I was measuring 6 weeks 2 days, the baby had grown by 1 day. Something was definitely wrong. When I saw the screen I knew before the u/s tech said anything. It looked the same as the previous week. The u/s tech asked me if I had had any bleeding. I wasn't really shocked that she asked me this time. I knew from the screen that the baby was not growing. I told her no that I had not had any bleeding or spotting at all. S was holding my hand when the u/s tech told me that things were not developing as they should, he squeezed my hand hard. I was pushing back the tears and then, I couldn't hold them back anymore. A flood of tears streamed down my face. The u/s tech gave me tissues and S squeezed my hand even harder and told me that he loved me. I went to the restroom to put my clothes back on and compose myself. I couldn't believe this was happening.....
No comments:
Post a Comment